Have you ever felt your inner self stopping you from saying or doing something? When you know in the core of your heart that you are not yourself? When you feel something is not right or that you don’t belong somewhere?
If you’ve experienced that, then it means you have been lying to yourself about who you are, what you stand for and what you want to pursue in life.
As for me, I had this feel all through engineering. Where I kept feeling this way. It felt like a lie. Like I was not being who I really was.
And then I felt this way again when I started running away from someone who abused me. At that moment I felt like hiding in some dark corner and never coming back. But then, that really wasn’t me. That was my survival instict, but what I really wanted to do in that moment was to stand up for myself and take control of my life.
But instead, I wore a mask and told myself and the world that I don’t like being on social media and I don’t like want to talk to anyone.
I felt like I was lying to myself when I was applying to a conference. I felt like I was misrepresenting who Iam just to write something in that form.
I was becoming someone I was not because of what people and the environment around asked of me.
What will they think? What if I don’t fit in? What if I’m called out to be an imposter?
When you lie to yourself about what you like or who you are.. it is like looking at muddy water and trying to see your reflection. You are at all points trying to learn more about yourself or trying to find what you love doing. And if you, of all people, are not honest with yourself, then it means you are not doing justice to yourself. It’s a recipe that is set up to fail for certain!
But now after several of those instances where I lied to myself and tricked myself, I’ve decided to be completely honest with myself about how I should live. About what matters to me and what I’m interested to pursue.
This means taking ownership of my dreams and goals.
This means to take off all those masks that you wear, stop pretending and start accepting yourself the way you are.
This means that you choose to own yourself – with all your good and bad.
It is is only when you are open with yourself that you can seek improvement. When you will know what truly does matter to you. When you truly know what you like and who you are.
Be you. I think that’s the most courageous thing you can do in life.