Should happiness be conditional?

Life gives us a bunch of reasons to hurt ourselves from time to time. But is it a good approach to think that I will be truly happy only if X happens?

I find that different people choose different ways of dealing with happiness, but personally, I don’t believe in setting conditions for happiness. If we really cannot control many things in life and if the only thing we truly have any control over is ourselves (our emotions and actions), shouldn’t we isolate the feeling of happiness from our circumstances?

It helps to define happiness more broadly I think. For instance, I like to think that the challenges in life teach us great lessons and make us stronger. So if I’m facing challenges, but also evolving into becoming a better person, do I be sad for having those challenges in the first place, or do I be happy that I’m able to work through them to come out stronger?

When we’re faced with tough decision making or a difficult task, we tend to associate our dampened moods with the toughness of the decision/task. But isn’t it possible to acknowledge that this is a tough situation that is testing the limits of our abilities without that process affecting us negatively?

Personally, I rebel in situations that I cannot control for a while but then quickly realize that it is how it is and decide to make peace with it. Having been through such processes of acceptance where I realize that I can only accept the situation as is or that I can only do what’s within my circle of control in such situations, I’ve learned that it is possible to feel happy and deal with such tough situations.

Why can’t happiness and awkwardness or even sadness/stress co-exist? For happiness is not the absence of any other emotion, but your choice to remain happy in spite of other emotions.