Author name: Arya Murali

Finally, I’ve gotten married. Months of planning and effort has come to an almost abrupt end and it simply feels overwhelming. There was so much chaos leading upto the wedding – I was running around a lot with the prep and it was so hard emotionally to deal with work and wedding prep while handling […]

After receiving some criticism on a presentation I put together, I felt like my whole being got crushed. It all felt so personal. But that’s when my therapist asked me, “Why are you taking all this so seriously? How is this about you?” And then she said, “You are not your presentation. If you were

The earliest memory I have of being body shamed is my school friends calling me “Gundu”, meaning someone fat. They found it cute and I tried to brush it off, but it had become my identity. That I am fat. I have countless memories of being fat shamed since then. A cousin of mine called

I wish you understood me for who I am and I wish I knew you for who you are. We’re blinded today by the pain we each endure. May this veil of smoke lift one day and reveal us for who we truly are. May we have the fortune of growing lighter in knowing this

All life advice must be like prescriptions. The problems we face although are universal to some degree, they also are specific to each of us. Perhaps you will benefit from the advice to work harder and I’d benefit from the advice to not hustle. The kind of advice we need will vary based on our

About 1/3rd of my life is over. I don’t have much time left to waste. It’s time to start living. One day my knees will hurt and I won’t be able to walk or run or dance even if I wanted to. So I want to dance today. One day my hips will hurt and

I’ve been living in an imaginary cage all this while. There were no real bars holding me back. I was smart, capable, loveable, beautiful and enough all this while. I had just learned a lie that I wasn’t any of these. I had been kept prisoner to the world’s approval and validation that I thought

It’s been on my mind to go see the familiar bridge near my place. I finally got myself to go this weekend after procrastinating for the last two. And it was quite beautiful. More than what I saw, it was the fact that I did something nice for myself that mattered more to me. I

Can you live simultaneously the reality of your greatness and smallness? All your achievements and brilliance is true. And so are all the things you don’t know and your insecurities and imperfections. Can you accept both realities and constantly work with them? Neither one is true without the other. The truth is that they both

You’ve been empty because the people you were looking at for love didn’t have any to spare Maybe you now see the emptiness. You feel it for real. It is painful they do not have it in them to give to you. But they are not love. Love is love. Love is universal. Love is

I’m melting. Watch these and tell me – didn’t it make your day? :’)

What you searched for outside of you, was all this while within you. What you wanted to run away from was always meant to be your refuge. The you, you wanted to abandon was always your home. You’ve been gone a long while. Go home now, take refuge and search within. In your pain lies

There is longing in love and a whole lot of love in longing. For I long and I love, just as it is bitter and sweet – bittersweet. Source

Imagine our lives were just stories and imagine you and I writing it together. I write my part. Give you the book and you write your part. Together, we shape our story. You’ll see here that you are responsible for your part of the story alone. You could try to use your part to get

For long I’ve been working on a few problems such as obseity, constant burnout at work, splurging money, perfectionism and overachievement, anxiety in relationships, talking more, abandoning myself to nurture others and so on. I listened to the YouTube gurus and self help books and tried a lot of the suggestions. Nothing helped me much.

Context: I struggle with perfection and doing way too much than I can handle. I’m extremely self critical and quite hard on myself. I also tend to compromise myself and my health for work. These coupled with trauma have pushed me towards burn out and depression in the last few years. I’m finally taking the

I’ve been binging on the Handmaid’s Tale for a few weeks now. While the show initially was extremely painful to watch, I soon got used to the Gilead world. I’m currently in S3 E3 and my brain connected a few dots around sense of agency. Spoilers ahead and you may not fully grasp it if

A collection of short essays on identity. Choosing to be Who are we? or Who do we want to be? I used to label myself heavily. I am this or I am that. Today, I know enough to know that that was stupid. We are fluid, not just binary states. I also used to think

One of my biggest recent epiphanies is just how much thinking and action we tend to outsource. I’ve been trying to buy a few things off of amazon and I was noticing the sheer number of ‘buying guides’ for these things. Overwhelmed by the details and specifications, I found myself quickly looking for recommendations. If

I picked up sewing this weekend and stitched my very first crop top! The project wasn’t exactly intentional. I’d gotten two dresses that I wanted to shorten. That’s how I took the sewing machine out. But the fabric leftover from the dress was too good to be thrown out. So I ended up figuring out

We all like to think that all we have are good qualities. We’re constantly in search of reassurance and validation that we’re all good. We’re walking on eggshells in the world carrying our ever so fragile ego. When the ego is challenged, we’re defensive and quick to blame the other. For the one thing we

doesn’t matter. The number of books anyone reads in a year does not matter. Reading is not a competition. There is no one type of reader. Neither is reading x number of books a year good/bad. We read to follow our curiosity, to understand what is being discussed and to enhance our sphere of knowledge.

I’ve been noticing something – there are a number of books that I used to not be able to relate to or read through beyond a few pages. But as time passed, I became increasingly able to pick up some of these titles and get through them and make sense of them. The Alchemist was

Rough transcript of a section I liked in the video: “You should see yourself as the free, willing, independent, responsible human being. And you should have certain noble hot powers that have been called to your attention and to which you’ve been invited to give yourself that will enable you to act in terms of

No decision is right or wrong. No decision is good or bad. No matter what we choose, we can never know what would have happened on the other side. But what we do have is the power to choose at any given point. Sure, we may be scared or we may be faced with killing

I just saw Mare of East Town. Kate Winslet plays detective Mare Sheehan in the show and she has done a great job as always with her acting. But what consistently stood out for me was her style. She rocked the role in simple clothes – greys, olives, black and blues, jeans and a messy

1. Find the prompts that make you feel like you don’t have an answer to them. Or the ones you see and immediately think you know everything about this prompt. These are especially interesting since they may highlight your need to not dig deep by assuming an answer or by avoiding the question altogether. 2.

As someone who has been meticulously conditioned to be “worthy” by “accomplishing” more in the professional fronts, it puts an immense amount of pressure on me to keep achieving things. Sadly, this childhood trait has continued well into adulthood and more than motivating me, it cripples me. I think as a kid, I was very

Writing has become such an integral part of my life since my college days. Between journalling and blogs, I’ve learned to articulate my thoughts and emotions well and they’ve really helped me get clarity for myself and be of help to a few others. But then… I stopped writing. When I initially started writing, I

One of few things that gave me the most joy recently is remaking my walkman playlist. I was gifted a Sony walkman in 2007. Back then I used to download songs to our computer and then transfer it to my walkman and listen to it endlessly. I grew up being extremely fond of music –

Growing up, the world around me tried to actively define me and shape who I must be. There were musts and must-nots at every step of the way, clearly shaping parts of my identity that were acceptable. It is only when I moved to London for a year that these notions truly got shattered. The

My dear vava, At the time that I write this letter to you, I’m 26. The world around me asks why I haven’t given birth yet. I should have had you by now, they say. This is unfortunately the world that I live in today – one that tells me what to do and what

If I could, I’d gift this book to everyone.

Today I finally wrap up my Master’s commitments. After gruelling 4 months of work, I’ve finally turned in my dissertation. When I look back, I see a year of resilience. It was an incredibly difficult year with challenges one after the other and I’m not even talking about my course! But a few people have

What starts out as a weight loss journey ends up being a real transformation journey for Will Smith. The narrative is beautiful and it highlights how Will became who he is. What I loved the most is how they strived to maintain authenticity throughout the show. My favourite quote from the series: If you have

Lately, I have been forced to face certain choices which do not really have a great outcome, no matter what I choose. To not choose is painful, and both options have painful outcomes. When struggling with questions such as this, I’ve gone back to the core of my priorities and made the choice that best

I happened to participate in an LSE student panel representing my program – MSc in Social Innovation and Entrepreneurship. The event was for prospective students and offer holders to clarify their questions. I’ve been getting numerous questions and personal messages about my SIE experience as well. So thought I’ll pen down some of my responses

I’ve had the pleasure of living with some really nice folks from across South Asia at my student residence in London. We all went out for lunch today at Colonel Saab and it was such a joyful experience to have an Indian meal with everyone ♥️ I was quite excited and elated to see everyone

When I first came across stoicism, it felt a lot like advice that asks you to be a rock and not feel anything at all. To be unperturbed by all things life and just exist. It seemed so very unreasonable to me and I have ever since dismissed all things stoicism. Not only because it

“According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, ambition is defined as an ardent desire for rank, fame or power, while aspiration is defined as a strong desire to achieve something high or great.” I have forever used these words interchangeably. Wanting to achieve something great does not always have to do with rising in rank, fame or power.

Today is the pride march in London. The streets are full of people who are owning their own selves and are celebrating love. Because I live in my own cocoon, I had no idea I was stepping out into a pride march. I was initially taken aback by the crowd, but soon, I started smiling

You are your responsibility. No one owes you anything. No one has to come running to take care of you. You are enough and you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. But human beings thrive on social connection. So it is important to have friends and family, but without the expectation that it

Brutally honest and forthcoming, psychotherapist Beverly Engel talks about abuse, shame and healing through self compassion. I wish I knew about this before.

In between my assignments, I’ve been rewatching legally blonde and I have refound my appreciation for it. Judge me all you like, but I like those movies! I think what was so striking was how the character refused to change herself to “fit in”. She was so proud of herself. She stood up to what

I’ve been wondering about my future plans for the last several weeks. As someone who has always thought about “what next?”, I find it quite difficult to not think about the future and have a few options ready. But at the same time, the ghastly uncertainty glaring back at my face scares me. The fact

I’ve seen a lot of people who are happy to chat away about the problems with the social impact space as it is today and how everyone’s doing a bad job of helping people and the planet. There’s so much talk about what business leaders are not doing and how nothing seems to “make a

Immediately after receiving negative feedback, it becomes difficult to really see what’s being conveyed. Especially if our expectation of the work/outcome is different from the feedback, it can take a while to really accept the feedback. But once we take the time to cool off a bit and look at the feedback with, fresh set

Have you noticed how you learn a “lesson” the hard way, and then you know what to look out for or what not to do.. but then you do it again? And somehow you do it again and again, learning the same thing again and again, until you accept that trait to be your identity

Its been a while since I took off on solo trips. Today some how was one of those days after a long long time. I’d finished some work for my assignments and then been feeling meh after a heavy lunch. I wanted to step out to get groceries and shop something. But what was to

When we choose something, it is so easy to only think about what we get from that choice. However, by choosing something, we are actually letting go of something else. Oftentimes, I think the conflict with making such choices and accepting them comes from our inability to make peace with that loss inherent in the

It’s been difficult to associate with the various professional identities I’ve had. Engineer Community developer Sales professional Program manager I’m all of these, but not any one of these. The biggest tug of war has been between “entrepreneur” and “management professional”. I’ve not been able to fully associate with either of these, yet I have

I don’t really want to do a full book review. I will just say that this is the ONLY book I have read cover to cover from the moment I picked it up. I generally do not read books in full. I read them in parts because not everything about them fascinates me. But this

In the short span of my career, I have seen two kinds of people – those who give great feedback such that the other person is encouraged to improve and those that only rip apart the other person. The effects that these two folks have on you are very different not in the “guidance” they

Much of adult life I think is about discovering who you are, identifying your needs and ways of fulfilling them, serving your purpose and more importantly, learning to love yourself. We are all broken in some way or the other and as an adult, I think it becomes our responsibility to learn to love ourselves

It has been a while since I’ve put myself out there. A lot has been happening at my end and it seems like I must take some time to be with myself and take care of myself. I lost my thatha (my maternal grandfather) on April 26th. He is someone I grew up with during

I’ve been observing how these social media apps affect me and what their place is in my everyday life. I’m definitely not a fan of facebook. But instagram! oh boy! It is a very addicting app. I find myself casually browsing instagram and consuming all sorts of random, useless information during every tiny break I

As much as I’m wondering what the significance of all these traditions of seeing the vishu kani are, I’m equally excited to have seen them today atleast on video call. Perhaps it’s the familiarity and a sense of community / belonging that makes me feel so good about celebrating vishu. Today though, I hope to

Real love is selfless. It is secure and gives you a sense of stability and safety. Great love makes you a better person. It makes you WANT to be a better person. The right partner will double your happiness and reduce your problems by half. With the right person, things will be easy. There won’t

It’s so easy to look left and right and want to do what everyone else is doing. It can be tempting but is that what works for you? For all you know, they might be just excitementing random things and if you just copy them, it may not work for you. Before asking will I

I think people are motivated to do that which they find purpose and meaning in. Because if one can spend hours together in playing video games, I think he or she is driven to play video games and finds meaning in it – could be atleast pleasure that they get from it. While if they’re

We all do so many things to make people like us. Very subconsciously that too. But end of the day if someone likes you but doesn’t respect you, I feel that’s a bigger problem. Because then they’re not valuing what you say or want, but they think you’re nice because you always comply. We cannot

This question was asked by Sukriti, a good friend of mine over Instagram Q&A. Because this merits a longer post, writing my response as a blog post! Thanks, Sukriti for the prompt 🙂 About my journey I started my fitness journey in August 2020 with a starting weight of 88kgs. At that time, I could

A lot of my close people have hurt me in the last 3 years. For long, I’ve wondered – why me? What did I ever do to them that they hurt me like this? Why am I suffering when I’ve not done any wrong to them? And then I went on this whole search to

I realised that people or circumstances break me because I give them the opportunity to. The real loophole is in my self-esteem, self-belief and capability. All that poor circumstances and assholes do is amplify the insecurities that already live within me. Some of these insecurities are very weak, but some of them are very very

There are days when you become cognizant of the weight you’re carrying. When you can feel the heaviness in your heart and brain and you feel you cannot keep walking with this. To willfully ignore how you’re feeling is then easier than to sit with your thoughts and come to terms with all that you’re

I came across the idea of vision boards in some random youtube video. Back in 2020, right after my depression phase, I created a board for myself. And then again early in 2021, I created another one… most of those materialised! I think what is important is being super honest with yourself. That you think

I think our goal in life should be more internal than external – to evolve our own set of moral values and code of ethics the help us determine the kind of life we want to lead. I’ve realised that decision making is hard. There is no right or wrong answer mostly because you never

I’ve been feeling this urge to write for a while now. It’s been months since I consistently wrote. Somehow I feel writing gives me clarity of thought, but at the same time, I’m scared of what I write. It is difficult to look at all the thoughts in my head and realise I’m dealing with

So I’ve been into fitness in the last 4 months. From being lazy to even walk downstairs to collect my amazon delivery, to walking 10,000 steps, it has been quite a journey. This is about how I managed to walk 10K steps a day! But before we start, let me confess that I have been

Today for the first time, I spoke up against someone who shamed my body. It was this aunty who came home to meet my mother and I was sitting calmly on the sofa. She made a comment out of the blue – “Look at your legs! What will people say if they see your legs.”

Contrary to popular belief, I’m sharing my age upfront. 25 years already! Feels like I was 20 yesterday. Last year has been nothing short of transformational for me. It was much about regaining confidence and answering some tough questions. I picked up a new job, quit it, started working remotely, started learning ukulele, invested in

One of the most important skills we will need to survive in the 21st century is to learn by ourselves. If you have spent at least a few months in the industry, I’m sure you must have realised at some point that no one is coming behind us to complete a course or do a

I watched Perks of being a wallflower yesterday. (I know I’m late to the party) But in that movie, Charlie asks Mr. Anderson, his English teacher, “Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?” He replies, Made me think long, that quote. I think this ties back to self-worth and it can be

Life gives us a bunch of reasons to hurt ourselves from time to time. But is it a good approach to think that I will be truly happy only if X happens? I find that different people choose different ways of dealing with happiness, but personally, I don’t believe in setting conditions for happiness. If

From the book: Ikigai Om mani padme hum – A mantra in Buddhism on controlling negative emotions om – the generosity that purifies the ego ma – the ethics that purify jealousy ni – the patience that purifies passion pad – the precision that purifies bias me – the surrender that purifies greed hum –

Write for yourself. It is important to enjoy what you do and the only person you must try to please is yourself. Consistency and a great love for the work you do is a mark of greatness. Doing dedicated work doesn’t mean living a hard life. It is possible to do dedicated and important work

God. This is a true story, I moved out of Bangalore 2-3 months back. I stopped using my ACT Fibernet connected because obviously, I don’t need it anymore. I emailed them and asked them to disconnect it. No response. Then they send me a 100 emails with discounts and offers. I appreciate their effort, but

Why do we hold ourselves back? I was always told that I sing well. When I was 12, I had a music teacher come home to take classes for me. I was doing alright. In fact, the music teacher at school wanted me to join the prayer group. I did not find that exciting enough

I see so many people fussing about the template to use. I did too. I still do. But the only role that appearance has is in turning eyeballs. In getting attention. If you ultimately do not have has the meat, there’s no point. I came across this tweet by Aleksandr Volodarsky that talks about this

My mom took a VRS from BSNL in Jan 2020. I have known her to be someone so fully dedicated to her work to the point on not having any hobbies. And so, I managed to put together a list of activities for her to try out in the hope that at least one or

The hack to un-stuck yourself is this: Cheatsheet (1) Look at your goals(2) Look at the people and resources you have now(3) Do what you can with what you have(4) In the process, acquire more people and resources Repeat steps 1 – 4

I personally love journaling a lot. I’ve always relied on writing as a way to obtain better clarity of thought. I’ve journaled for 6+ years now and writing has never failed me. In 2019, I hit a rough patch with anxiety and depression. And in order to understand how I ended up in this bad

Who is this for? What would your ideal listener be like? What are their challenges? How do they feel because of these challenges? What are their goals? What would you talk about and how should that ideally make them feel? What do you want them to get at the end of the podcast? Are you

Second Learning Club discussion was around 20% projects. What are 20% projects? Why do them? How to do them right? What we did Read a bunch of blogs around 20% projects The Radical Notion of Not Letting Work Define You 7 Reasons To Treat Your Career as an Experiment 20% projects – What they are

I first came across this term Meraki in 2016 or so. Right from the first moment that I learned the word, I knew it meant something to me. I felt like the word really summarised who I am as an individual. I’ve often been told that I leave my signature in whatever I do. And